Monday, May 18, 2009

My destiny?

This crazy looking contraption is a rife machine. It looks hokey. In fact it looks like someone threw it together in their basement. But it is a lyme killer! It actually kills lots of stuff, but the ladies I know are using it primarily to kill off lyme bacteria. On Thursday Becca let me sit in front of it for 30 seconds. The idea is that I think I may have lyme disease and this is an easy, cheap, non-invasive way to see if I may have it without taking an expensive test that may show negative test results (which can be can still have lyme disease if you get a negative test result...sometimes lyme is weird like that).Becca said I probably wouldn't feel anything for a couple of days, but the very next day I woke up feeling very still and very tired. As the day progressed I got more tired, sore and achey. My hips and knees and neck and back and wrists...everything was sore. Then I started feeling really ADD. I must have checked the office several times before I left and I still felt like I was going to forget to turn something off or something. I woke up that morning at 7:15 and was in bed at 9:30 and I was sound asleep for about 11 hours. So I think I herxed. Becca and Natalie and Susan said that a herx is an intesifying of symptoms and I definitely think I had that. I'd like to try again on another day for a longer time to see if I have a worse reaction. I'm kind of in denial that I might have lyme. Mostly because I don't want to jump the gun and say I definitely have a disease, and also because if I admit to myself that I do have a disease that can be potentially life-threatening then I will get extremely depressed. Especially since I am leaving for college this fall and don't want to deal with being sick. But what can you do? Facts are facts and they need to be faced and accepted. So while I'm not going to say that I have lyme, I will continue to test myself and try different treatments and see how I react until I am convinced that I do or don't have this sickness. And I'm going to try to stay positive.

The end.

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