Saturday, June 21, 2008


I have a big block in my brain. I can't think, I can't come up with ideas or put the ideas I've already had into use to make anything. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that I am not doing anything productive. When I'm not busy I feel lazy and like I'm wasting my time. I get so frustrated when things don't happen they way I think they should. I know that is an immature and kind of bratty attitude and I'm trying to get over it.

I read in a devotional that I'm doing with Court that whatever you are waiting for is what you're living for. So if you're waiting for a spouse, family, promotion, job, degree, move, vacation, adventure, etc., then that is what you are living for. The book goes on to say, or ask I guess, if we are waiting for the second coming of Christ because that is what we should be living for.

It seems so far off. So easy to push to the back of our minds. We don't know when He is coming back. Some of us don't like to think about it because the idea of "the end of the world" is scary to us. But in all reality, isn't that just what the disciples and apostles and early church did (live for the 2nd coming of Jesus that is)? They lived just like Christ was coming back. Suddenly hobbies and vacations and having the perfect career didn't matter so much and living for Christ was the most important thing to be doing. And isn't that the kind of life and church we want today?

I get so wrapped up in little piddly things like school. Most of my frustration is that I am going to probably be going back to Blue Ridge this fall to finish my last 5 classes so I can get my 2 year degree as long as the house doesn't sell. I'm dragging my feet at the thought of it. But I'm so close to finishing and it would be WAY cheaper and easier to go back to Blue Ridge than anywhere else. Plus, I don't have any other opportunities showing themselves that would make me feel like it's no big deal to just forget about school again. And then I wonder if God really wants me to put a lot of stock in an education and a career that I don't really want especially at a school I really...devoutly...very very very strongly dislike. And the whole time I just forget to trust God to show me what to do and ask Him to give me the life He wants me to have.

Anyway, in a nutshell, I am really getting myself down about the idea of going back and losing sight of the big picture and trying to get over it and be optimistic; that is what this post is about. I'm done. The end.

Now lets talk about something more fun.

Like this book. I got it at Borders today to try and get me over some of my crafting slump. I've been wanting to make aprons to sell on Etsy, but I can't come up with anything I like so I got this book and it's pretty fun. It gives a lot of ideas and basic instructions on how to put together a simple apron and a lot of the aprons in the book are vintage-y so it's fun to get ideas from it. I'm looking forward to trying some of them out.

I also picked up The City of Ember and The People of Sparks by Jeanne DuPrau (I love the clearance section!) to read on the plane while we're going to TX. I read Ember a few years ago and really liked it and never found the sequel (now there is a third). They're making it into a movie that's coming out in October. I want to see it. I know I already mentioned that on here somewhere.

I'm going to go look through my book now. Talk to y'all later~

1 comment:

Jacqueline said...

well, it sounds to me like your heart is in just the right place - open, searching, and willing to do whatever God has in store for you (even if that means going back to BR) so, maybe all you have to do is just sit back and wait for Him to unveil His perfect plan for you before your eyes... i know things feel like they're at a stand still in life, but i encourage you to be patient and just enjoy this rare quietness of life that you've been given right now. i have this gut feeling that things are going to start moving for everyone within the next six months...